Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
