Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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