remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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