Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize