What a fucking waste of an outfit
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
