I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
