***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
