you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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