I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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