Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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