just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
