she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
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On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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