well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
