My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize