I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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