That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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