if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
50% drunk capacity currently
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Randomize
