im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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