Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm too high and old for this...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
