New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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