So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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