Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
