just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize