I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
vagina is talking i cant
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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