Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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