summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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