I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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