Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
