hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
