I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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