hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize