my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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