If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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