the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize