Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
