Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
