The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
