were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
