I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
