this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize