We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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