Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
