we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
