This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Ladies don't puke and tell
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
