I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
