doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize