She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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