Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
