Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
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