I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize