there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
