it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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