her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
