Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
