well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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