I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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