At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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