She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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