That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize