my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
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Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
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A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
that may or may not have been my penis.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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