You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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