I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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